Photo/Illutration Rwandan President Paul Kagame and first lady Jeannette Kagame light the Rwandan genocide flame of hope, known as “Kwibuka” (Remembering), to commemorate the 1994 genocide at the Kigali Genocide Memorial Center in Kigali, Rwanda, on April 7. (REUTERS/ Jean Bizimana)

How does one recover from unimaginable anguish or grief? I ask myself this question every time I come across victims of war and conflict.

I don’t know the answer. But I’ve had the vague feeling that how people heal varies considerably according to their cultural and historical backgrounds.

In fact, I felt this strongly when I read a book published recently by Yuko Otake, a researcher residing in Britain.

Titled “Ikirukoto de Naze Tamashii no Kizu ga Iyasarerunoka” (Why does the act of living heal emotional wounds?), it documents the lives of survivors of the Rwandan genocide of the 1990s and the ensuing conflicts.

For this project, Otake lived in northern Rwanda and later kept revisiting the area for follow-up research.

Otake used to believe that in trauma care, it was vital to get patients to verbalize their personal experiences. However, she recalls, this was not the case in Rwanda.

The reason, she realized, was that the concept of trauma, which is premised on Western individualism, was alien to Rwandans. It dawned on her that the suffering of the Rwandans she encountered personally was much deeper and more extensive than anything they could put into words.

There were local expressions that denoted their complex emotions. For instance, the word “ibikomere,” which means an emotional scar, also implies a sense of alienation, loneliness and helplessness.

A Rwandan man who opened up to Otake started talking, “The ibikomere that I cannot forget… .”

People who are nursing their ibikomere would reconnect with the community through prayer meetings and other gatherings and eventually regain their will to live. They would support one another while recovering from their pain.

“Gusunika iminshi,” which combines the expressions meaning “to move a heavy object” and “every day,” is said to denote “trying to live fully, one step at the time.”

There is no one magic formula for overcoming grief. But a solution definitely exists.

--The Asahi Shimbun, Nov. 25

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Vox Populi, Vox Dei is a popular daily column that takes up a wide range of topics, including culture, arts and social trends and developments. Written by veteran Asahi Shimbun writers, the column provides useful perspectives on and insights into contemporary Japan and its culture.