Shuhei has not given up on his homeland, but he doubts he will return to Japan anytime soon.

The 35-year-old says he is now living a comfortable life as a gay man in Canada, one of the first nations to legalize same-sex marriage.

And he is sometimes surprised at how open and welcoming the country is for sexual minorities.

On the other hand, he always felt he had to conceal his true self in Japan.

“Being Japanese is a major part of my identity, and I’m not rejecting Japanese society,” Shuhei said. “Perhaps I wouldn’t have left Japan if same-sex marriage was legal there, and society was more accepting of sexual minorities.”

Same-sex marriage has been legal in Canada since 2005.
Japan, meanwhile, remains the only Group of Seven nation that bans gay marriages.

Shuhei said he realized that he was gay when he was a child, and that he always found it difficult imagining himself having a family in the future.

As he got older, however, he began thinking about marriage.

Although public opinion polls show that a growing majority of Japanese support legalized same-sex marriage, conservative politicians have blocked Diet debate on such legislation, often citing “traditional family values.”

After graduating from a university in Kyoto Prefecture, Shuhei moved to Tokyo in his mid-20s and became an editor at a publisher of travel, food, entertainment and in-house magazines.

He said he didn’t feel comfortable at the company and kept his sexual preference a secret.

Shuhei had to listen quietly to jokes about gays made by his colleagues. He also felt uneasy when they asked him if he was married, or when he had to entertain customers and business partners at hostess clubs.

“It was like a world just for straight people where gays are not supposed to exist,” he said.

In 2016, Shuhei spent a couple of weeks in Canada on his way to Cuba. He was surprised to see gay couples walking on the streets hand in hand.

“It was really new to me, and I felt this was a place for me,” he said.

He moved to Canada in 2019.

Shuhei initially worked at a neighborhood restaurant and delivered food for Uber Eats until he found a steady job writing stories for an online media outlet catered to Japanese people.

He also enrolled in a college to gain the necessary qualifications for permanent residency status.

More surprises were awaiting Shuhei at the college.

A gay professor casually talked to the class about his travel plans with his partner and children.

Students were also repeatedly warned that their assignments would receive negative assessments if they contained discriminatory comments about sexual minorities or people of different races and religions.

“In the social climate here, just questioning same-sex marriage can make you look out of place,” said Shuhei. “Same-sex marriage is an integral part of Canadian society.”

COMMON-LAW PARTNERSHIP

Kenji Yamamura, 46, is in a common-law partnership with his Canadian boyfriend.

Yamamura first visited Canada in 2013 to help his friend open a restaurant in Toronto.

He had been seeking a way out of his job in Japan, where he was forced to work unpaid overtime under an abusive boss.

While in Japan, whenever he went out with his Japanese boyfriend, Yamamura always pretended that they were just “friends.”

In Canada, on the contrary, it was usual to see lesbian couples holding hands on streets or gay couples on outings with their children. Such sights came as a great surprise to Yamamura.

He returned to Japan when his one-year visa expired.

However, life in Japan, where he had to keep hiding his sexual orientation, was “like hell.”

And in 2015, he returned to Canada, where he became a manager at a newly opened ramen restaurant.

There, Yamamura felt relaxed and comfortable in the presence of a Canadian customer, who kindly and patiently listened to Yamamura despite his poor English skills.

They became partners.

But one problem for Yamamura at the time was how to obtain permanent residency in Canada. Although he studied English hard, he could not quite reach the required standard.

Getting married to or entering a common-law partnership with his Canadian partner would solve the problem. But he didn’t want his partner to think that gaining permanent residency was his ultimate goal in their relationship.

One day, however, the partner proposed to Yamamura, who was still struggling with his English studies.

“Otherwise, you might not be able to stay in Canada,” the partner said.

The couple entered a common-law partnership in 2018.

Yamamura sometimes feels like returning to Japan, but the couple would no longer be in a legally recognized relationship there.

Besides, Yamamura’s partner doesn’t speak Japanese, and it may be difficult for him to live in the country.

“I miss Japan, but things won’t work for us there,” Yamamura said.