The woman secretly places a headscarf in the bottom of her bag before she ventures outdoors during holiday periods.

Her routine never changes: She heads straight for the restroom at a station or a convenience store, picking up her pace as she goes. She then locks herself in a stall so no one can see her donning a headscarf.

Once that is done, she feels slightly refreshed although apprehensive.

The next step is deciding where to go, knowing her appearance will make her stand out in crowds.

But even on days she does not don a headscarf, the resident of the Kinki region in western Japan said she always strives to keep the symbol of her faith in her mind.

This has been her way of life for more than three years.

She was born and raised in Japan but has chosen to live as a Muslim. She keeps her Islamic faith a secret from her parents, with whom she lives, wondering when she will be able to share this side of her life with her family.

SECRET PURCHASE: THE KORAN

As a first-year junior high schooler, the woman learned about the sacred Kaaba, where Muslims gather in Mecca in Saudi Arabia when they go on the haj pilgrimage, and other aspects of Islamic culture via a supplementary world history textbook.

Muslim women wearing hijabs to hide their hair and men attired head to toe in white appeared to be “cool” to the girl.

She developed an instinctive attachment to Muslim clothing, the Middle Eastern culture and Islamic architecture, which sparked an interest in the religion, which is practiced by one quarter of the world’s population.

The woman bought a Japanese translation of the Koran with her pocket money and studied Arabic in hopes of reading the holy book in its original form.

But explaining all this to her family was more than she could bear.

For starters, her parents were devout Christians. The woman herself had attended church every Sunday since childhood. Her father prayed before meals or bedtime.

“Christianity was part of my daily life as naturally as consuming food,” she recalled.

The woman enrolled in a Christian-affiliated academy when she reached senior high school age. At the school, Jesus was referred to as the divine son of God, which sounded awkward to the girl’s ears.

Having her first brush with Islam at the time, she was aware that Jesus is counted as one of prophets. She felt more comfortable with that notion.

MOTHER’S SAD FACE

She did not confide in anyone around her that she had purchased a Japanese edition of the Koran.

As the supplementary world history textbook included a simple description of how to pray as a Muslim, she offered a blessing in a corner of her room by just following the material’s illustration before going to school.

One day, she was spotted by her mother while at prayer. Her mother asked if “you are interested in Islam?” Her eyes seemingly reflected a sense of sorrow.

The girl abandoned her Islamic prayers. The translated copy of the Koran, concealed for so long, was thrown away with the trash.

She did this so as not to hurt her parents. She began keeping a distance from Islam.

It was not until 2019, a few years into her full-time career, that she started feeling attracted to Islam again. The woman watched the live-action Disney movie “Aladdin” at a theater and recalled her “affection for Middle Eastern culture.”

She learned on Twitter about an Arabic language class held at an Islamic establishment. She decided to take the course.

Reciting from the Koran after such a long break felt fresh to her. She had been too busy with her daily work to contemplate religious matters.

All the phrases in the Koran, such as “the creation of the heavens and earth is greater than the creation of mankind” and “that is Allah, your Lord, the Creator of all things,” gave her spiritual solace.

In hindsight, she had already made up her mind by the time she began attending the Arabic class.

A month later, she, surrounded by several Muslims, recited the Shahada oath in Arabic in a ritual to convert to Islam, saying, “I bear witness that there is no deity but Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of God.”

“I was happy that I could confidently regard myself as embracing the Islamic faith,” she recalled thinking.

DIFFICULTIES IN BOTH COMMUNITIES

Through the ritual of offering daily prayers, the woman said she feels complete peace of mind. For the first time in her life, religion has become a source of comfort.

However, she still faces problems living as a Muslim in Japanese society.

As a company employee, she used to refrain from drinking at parties with her colleagues, typically using the excuse she had “an early day tomorrow” rather than admit she was Muslim.

Finding the practice increasingly bothersome, she summoned the courage to come out as a Muslim in front of her supervisor. She couldn’t believe her ears when her boss replied, “You should not tell others about it.”

Walking in a hijab, she is stopped and spoken to in English at times by those who mistake her for a non-Japanese. She said she is often looked at strangely.

As a Japanese, she finds it difficult to fit into Islamic society as well.

“I cannot feel at home at mosques, so I do not feel like going there,” she said.

The woman explained that invariably mosques are filled with non-Japanese.

Japanese converts to Islam are growing every year, but the figures are miniscule.

The woman said the few Japanese she has come across at mosques accepted the Islamic doctrine mostly for their weddings. She finds it hard to find something to converse with such individuals.

Despite all the ups and downs she encounters, the woman remains positive about the path of life she has chosen.

“I will continue sticking to my faith in my own style,” she said.