Photo/Illutration Eri Onuma walks with her oldest son Yuzuki in Shichigahama, Miyagi Prefecture, on Jan. 18. (Shigetaka Kodama)

Editor’s note: This is the first installment of a five-part series in which Japanese from all walks of life recall their experiences and backgrounds in the context of the Great East Japan Earthquake and tsunami disaster of March 11, 2011. Each person recounts what they touched that day or on those that followed to offer a perspective on touching the lives of others.

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SHICHIGAHAMA, Miyagi Prefecture--Even now, Eri Onuma gets anxious when she takes her 1-year-old son Yuzuki for a walk, never for an instant letting her grip on his hand loosen.

Onuma, 29, is haunted by the day her grandmother was swept to her death as the pair fled hand-in-hand to escape from the roar of tsunami following the Great East Japan Earthquake of March 11, 2011.

“At that time, I thought that ‘I must protect my favorite grandma’ and held her hand tightly, but we were separated even though I did everything I could to hold on to her,” she recalled.

Onuma was living with her parents, elder brother, grandparents and great-grandmother in the coastal town of Shichigahama, Miyagi Prefecture, in northeastern Japan.

She and her grandparents had been out and just arrived home when the magnitude-9.0 earthquake hit.

They were in the parking space in front of their home and fled as fast as they could to elevated ground.

Onuma felt pure panic at the thunderous sound of the approaching tsunami that engulfed the house, kicking up clouds of dust.

“It’s dangerous here, too. We need to get to higher ground,” she shouted.

She clasped her grandmother Ryoko Watanabe, 67, tightly by the hand as they ran as fast as their legs could carry them.

In a split second, Onuma lost her grip when she was caught by the wall of water and landed on her backside.

Onuma and her grandfather grabbed onto nearby trees and were eventually rescued.

Onuma was consumed by guilt and kept asking herself: “Why couldn’t I have clasped her hand more strongly? It’s my fault she died.”

She has tried since then to make peace with herself by helping her grandfather whenever she can. She accompanies him on hospital visits and they go shopping together. She also cooks her grandmother’s favorite dishes for him.

But Onuma knows she can never take the place of her grandmother in her grandfather’s life.

Yuzuki, her oldest son, was born just prior to the 10th anniversary of the disaster that claimed nearly 20,000 lives and wrecked a nuclear power plant, triggering a triple meltdown.

Becoming a mother gave Onuma a new perspective on her grandmother’s death.

“She might have tried to protect me. That’s why she might have let her hand slip,” she said.

But Onuma still grieves mightily over the loss.

“Perhaps she sacrificed her life so that I could survive and be able to give birth,” she said.

When she touches her son’s tiny hands, she is filled with thoughts of warmth, hope and love.

“All I can do is to remember my grandma and raise my child,” she said. “I am determined to protect this precious child by never letting go of him.”

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Eri Onuma holds her oldest son Yuzuki’s hand and plays with him in Tagajo, Miyagi Prefecture, on Jan. 18. (Shigetaka Kodama)

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