ISHINOMAKI, Miyagi Prefecture--A high school dropout and shut-in, Narumi Saijo didn't feel comfortable leaving the confines of her home until one day when she had no choice. 

On March 11, 2011, when Ishinomaki was rocked by a quake measuring an intensity of lower 6 on the Japanese scale of 7, Saijo had to grab her dog, Goma, and crawl under a “kotatsu” table.

It was only after her father, who had returned home from fishing in the sea, shouted, “Run!” that she desperately fled to higher ground with her parents and Goma.

The ensuing tsunami washed away their home, the only place that offered her peace of mind.

For Saijo, the disaster led her on a long path to return to society and find a place where she belongs. 

Ten years after losing her home in the Great East Japan Earthquake and tsunami, Saijo, 28, is no longer socially reclusive and is hoping to encourage others through her poems and essays. 

“At that time, I couldn’t imagine myself becoming the person I am now,” she said, recalling her struggles of a decade ago.

DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL BEFORE DISASTER

Saijo was supposed to graduate from high school in March 2011. But she found it difficult to engage in group activities and couldn’t fit in with her classmates. She didn’t have friends at school, either.

Unable to have confidence in herself, Saijo shut herself away at home. She dropped out of high school in her second year in the winter.

“Deep down, I’m eager to have more interactions with others,” she thought at the time. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

To escape her anxiety that she didn't know how to resolve and the fear that no one needed her, Saijo would binge on cup noodles and a loaf of bread late at night and throw up in the bathroom.

Her mother noticed her bulimia and took her to a hospital, but she couldn’t stop her eating disorder. 

Then came March 11, 2011.

FORCED TO STAY WITH OTHERS

After the tsunami washed away their home, Saijo's family sought shelter at a relative’s home. Saijo had to live under the same roof with 11 people and had virtually no privacy. 

Her relatives all shared the household chores, but she couldn’t socialize with them. She would bring her meals prepared by others and her laundry folded by them to her living space while no one else was around.

She couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable all the time while living there.

Saijo and her parents subsequently moved into a house of her one and only childhood friend. Around May after the move, she took every medication she could find in relief supplies for evacuees and had to be taken to a hospital.

“I will be treated with kid gloves,” she lamented on her way back to her friend’s home.

But people around her welcomed her back with open arms as if nothing had happened. They began asking her to do housework, such as taking out the trash and bringing water from emergency water trucks and supply stations. She felt accepted as a member of the household.

Saijo learned how to write a resume from her friend’s mother and landed a part-time job at a convenience store. She then started living by herself in Sendai and took on part-time jobs that entailed cooking, helping with funeral services and cleaning.

WRITING TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS

Several years later, Saijo dropped by a children's facility while taking a walk. She picked up a collection of poems, and one titled “Omiyage” (Souvenir) by Michio Mado caught her eye.

It is a story about a person who noticed a baby smiling at them on a train and is hurrying back home to share the episode with their mother.

The poem goes: “That smile/ I’m holding to my chest, before I knew it/ Having it (the smile) shine light on my feet on a street at night/ I’m hurrying (home).”

To her surprise, Saijo found herself crying. She didn’t have a goal at the time, feeling like she was walking all alone at night. 

“Small happiness and hope lit my way and encouraged me to move forward,” she thought.

Picturing the baby’s smile in her mind, Saijo remembered her friend and her friend’s mother, who cheered her up.

Driven by an urge to do the same thing for others, Saijo began writing essays and poems during breaks at work to send them to various media soliciting such works.

About a year later, a local newspaper carried her work in the letters to the editor column. Her essays have since been published in other newspapers and online media. In January, her poem received an honorable mention in an online magazine.

Saijo now lives alone in her hometown, helping out with her father’s fishing business. Her dream is to publish her own collection of poetry.

“Someday, I want to create works that can give someone encouragement,” she said.