July 8 will mark two years since former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe was shot and killed while delivering a speech at a campaign rally in Nara.

His widow, Akie, 62, said it took about a year for her to finally accept the reality of her husband’s death.

In an interview with The Asahi Shimbun, the former first lady described what transpired on that day, as well as her feelings toward the suspected murderer.

She also touched on a political scandal in which her name came up.

Akie said she had not accepted an interview request until now because she said she “would cry.”

‘DON’T WANT TO HOLD GRUDGE’

On the morning of July 8, 2022, Akie and her husband had breakfast as usual at their home in Tokyo. Abe’s mother, Yoko, who died in February this year, had also joined them.

Akie then saw her husband off.

“Ittekimasu,” Abe said. But he would not return.

Just after 11:30 a.m., Akie received a call from an aide to Abe.

“He’s been shot,” the aide said.

Akie said she yelled out, “Whaaaaaat?” She rushed to the hospital in Nara Prefecture where Abe had been taken. She arrived just before 5 p.m.

When a doctor told her, “We did our best,” she realized her husband was not going to survive.

She called out, “Shin-chan,” and grasped his hand on the hospital bed. She said she felt his hand move in response.

After Abe’s death at age 67, Akie’s days were rushed and busy, with a wake, a funeral service, a state funeral and a Yamaguchi prefectural funeral.

“I didn’t accept (those things) as a reality,” she recalled. “They were like a job.”

Tetsuya Yamagami, 43, has been indicted on charges of murdering Abe and other crimes.

He explained he was a “second-generation member” of the Unification Church, now formally called the Family Federation for World Peace and Unification. He was angered that his mother, a devout follower, donated so much of the family’s money to the church, which made his life difficult.

Yamagami told investigators that he shot Abe because of his deep involvement with the religious group.

He said he knew that Abe had sent a video message to an event hosted by the Universal Peace Federation, a group affiliated with the church.

Akie said she learned about the video message through news reports.

“I am not aware of any deep involvement” between Abe and the church, she said.

Yamagami’s trial is expected to start in 2025.

Akie said, “I would like to meet him at some point and hear from him about why he did what he did.”

As a bereaved family member of a crime victim, Akie visited a prison in Okayama Prefecture in January to give a lecture to inmates.

She told them, “I don’t want to hold a grudge against (Yamagami).”

Akie continued: “The murder of my husband should not have happened, but no matter how much I resent it or how much I pray, his life will not come back. It is now important to make the most of the reality.”

She said she began to feel the reality of what happened around the first anniversary of the shooting.

“I haven’t been able to ‘digest’ it at all,” she said. “I think about him more now.”

MORITOMO GAKUEN SCANDAL

Moritomo Gakuen, a private school operator, planned to build an elementary school in Osaka Prefecture on a plot of land bought from the government at a steep discount.

Suspicions emerged that Finance Ministry officials may have slashed the price of the land because of the operator’s connection to Akie, who was temporarily named honorary principal of the planned school when she was first lady.

Akie told The Asahi Shimbun that she had joined a group that read aloud Confucian scriptures and other texts. An acquaintance in the group introduced her to Moritomo Gakuen, which had pupils recite Kyoiku Chokugo, or the Imperial Rescript of Education, at a kindergarten.

Akie said Yasunori Kagoike, 71, former head of Moritomo Gakuen, told her that he had “found a good piece of land” for the elementary school construction site and invited her to see it.

She accepted the invitation.

But Akie denied having anything to do with the issue and said she never uttered a single word to the Finance Ministry about the sales price of the land.

“I said ‘I can testify’ but (Abe) said ‘no,’ so I just kept quiet,” she said.

Kagoike in 2020 was found guilty of defrauding the central and local governments of subsidies and is currently serving a five-year prison sentence.

In an interview with The Asahi Shimbun, Kagoike said he told the ministry’s Kinki Local Finance Bureau, “Akie-san told me, ‘It is a good piece of land, so please move forward.’”

After he showed the bureau a photo of himself with Akie, “a kamikaze (divine wind) blew,” Kagoike said.

Asked about Kagoike’s words, Akie said, “I said, ‘It’s a good piece of land,’ and I think he took it as ‘Please move forward.’”

She also said that she never asked to be an honorary principal at the planned school.

“I was hoping for a good school, so I never felt I was taken advantage of,” she said.

But she also said: “I underestimated my position as (the prime minister’s) wife. I didn’t realize that a single word from me might have so much influence.”

After Abe’s death, Akie assumed the top position of Shinwa-kai, a fund managing organization of her husband. More than 200 million yen ($1.24 million) was donated to the organization from multiple political organizations related to Abe.

Some questioned her moral culpability because Akie, who is not a politician, has taken over the position.

“I am handling the matter appropriately after consulting with my lawyer,” she said.

(This article was written by Masayuki Shiraishi and Hideo Matsushita.)