Agnes Chow, who led pro-democracy movement in Hong Kong, said on Instagram on Dec. 3 that she “will probably never go back again in my lifetime” to the city.

The post was seen as a momentous announcement.

But in an online interview with The Asahi Shimbun, Chow, who is now studying at a graduate school in Toronto, said it was a last-moment decision.

And although she said fear has spread across Hong Kong, she has not completely given up hope for the city or for a possible return.

Chow, 27, still under investigation for suspected collusion with foreign forces, is supposed to report to the police in Hong Kong later this month. The police announced that if she did not return from Canada, she would be put on a “wanted list.”

Chow was aware of the danger she would face, but she still expressed her intention to remain abroad.

She explained the events leading up to her decision, as well as changes in Hong Kong that have traumatized her.

She also has a message for people in Japan, with whom she has been closely associated.

Excerpts from the interview follow:

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Question: How did it become possible for you to leave Hong Kong to study in Canada? I was stunned to learn that you were permitted to leave the territory in the first place.

Answer: So was I. I initially couldn’t imagine that I could ever go overseas.

After submitting my application this year, I was interrogated and forced to write a letter of repentance pledging not to engage in pro-democracy activities again as well as a letter of gratitude to the police. The authorities told me in July to go to neighboring Shenzhen in the mainland.

Q: Were those the conditions for letting you study in Canada?

A: I asked police if I could tell my lawyer about going to Shenzhen. I believe it is a citizen’s right to communicate with a lawyer.

But the police said, “Please don’t tell your lawyer or anyone else.” So I did not tell anyone. I was afraid that I would be unable to leave for Canada to study if the police found out that I let on about the trip.

The legal system in mainland China is completely different from Hong Kong’s. Various scenarios in the mainland could have made it impossible for me to return to Hong Kong.

Since no one knew about my trip to the mainland, no one could come over to rescue me if something happened. I was frightened.

NERVOUS TRIP TO SHENZHEN

Q: How did you get to Shenzhen and what were the circumstances?

A: I took a day trip to Shenzhen in August. We met at the police station in Hong Kong in the morning and were taken there by car. We went to the Reform and Opening-up Exhibition Hall, which pays tribute to the achievements of the Communist Party, and to the headquarters of major technology company Tencent.

There were some other events, but those were the two visits that I felt had a political overtone.

Q: When you left for Canada, had you already decided that you would not return to Hong Kong?

A: No, that was not the case at all. I applied to study abroad simply because I wanted to go overseas. I didn’t even know until the very end whether I would be able to go overseas.

My passport was still confiscated, and I only got it back in mid-September, the day before I took a flight to Toronto. I chose Canada not for political reasons but simply because of a master’s degree program that I want to pursue.

When students from Hong Kong study abroad, most of them do so in democratic countries, such as the United States, Britain, Australia and Canada.

I thought about going to Canada via Japan, but I was told that was not possible. I had to take a direct flight.

After I was released in June 2021, after being jailed for the crime of organizing a protest rally without a permit, I still must report to police once every three months.

The three-month requirement remains even though I came to Canada. I am supposed to return to Hong Kong to report to police on Dec. 28 after the university closes for the holidays. I have been under great pressure.

Q: What made you decide not to return to Hong Kong?

A: I thought it would be dangerous to return to the city.

Since the National Security Law was imposed on Hong Kong in 2020 in a sweeping campaign by the Chinese government to curb dissent, the political situation in the territory is getting tougher and tougher. There is a strong possibility that I will be interrogated again or sent to the mainland.

It really scared me when I thought about the possibility of having my passport confiscated again after returning to Hong Kong and not being able to go back to Canada.

Should I go back to Hong Kong or not? Should I go public about my decision? These are the options that I have weighed for the past months.

I just want to live freely and safely. For the sake of my freedom, I decided not to return.

I could have chosen not to disclose my stay in Canada. But I was worried that if I chose not to return and remain silent about my whereabouts, my previous letters of repentance, my letters of gratitude to the police, and my photos in mainland China would be used as evidence of my “patriotism.”

I also thought I would be safer if I disclosed where I am.

Q: Your latest Instagram post is the first since June 2021, when you posted an all-black design on the day of your release.

A: I could not send out a message or do things because it was highly likely that I would be arrested.

FEAR OF KNOCKING NOISES

When I was arrested in 2020, the police suddenly came to my house, rang the doorbell like crazy, broke the lock and entered. I was terrified as they searched my entire house and confiscated documents, books and many other things.

The National Security Law carries a longer prison term, and it is not something you can easily overturn once you are charged. I was gripped by fear, thinking that I may never walk out of prison.

I developed post-traumatic stress disorder. I am still afraid of knocks on the door. I asked couriers of Uber Eats here not to do that when I order.

As authorities intensify their crackdown, people in Hong Kong are growing exceedingly sensitive about me and my name. I have experienced various inconveniences and difficulties in my daily life. It would be very difficult for me to get a job in the territory because it is possible that the police would question my employer if they hired me.

The National Security Law has led to a loss of freedom of speech. Hong Kong’s strength laid in the fact that the rule of law is guaranteed there. But that is a thing of the past now.

A student who studied in Japan was arrested after returning to Hong Kong. During her study in Japan, she had spoken out in support of Hong Kong’s independence.

Everyone is becoming extremely nervous about the political atmosphere.

Q: When I interviewed you in 2018, you said it was getting more difficult to reach out to people younger than even you to push for democracy. You also mentioned a sense of powerlessness was spreading among people in the territory. What is current situation?

A: Back then, Hong Kong was particularly divided between citizens leaning toward democracy and those supporting mainland China.

While some Hong Kong people backed me, others were against me. I think it is only normal for people to have their own opinions, and that is what freedom is all about.

Today, the atmosphere is that if you do not submit to the regime, you will be arrested and you will not be able to live. I feel that I can no longer speak out politically and that I am no longer free to choose my own political position, be it pro-democracy or pro-China.

Q: Your Instagram post, where you said you “will never go back again in my lifetime” to Hong Kong, is seen as a momentous decision, given your previous vow to continue to live in Hong Kong and continue with pro-democracy activities.

A: Even if I return to Hong Kong, I think I will only end up being arrested. So, I will not return for a while. However, although I wrote “I will never go back,” life is long. If Hong Kong returns to a democratic and free city, I believe its people in exile for political reasons and I will be able to return.

Q: Do you feel any danger while living in Canada?

A: Nothing yet, but I am worried. I don’t go out alone as a precaution.

Q: What are your plans for your future?

A: I arrived in Toronto after classes at my school started in September. I was so busy catching up with my schoolwork and getting used to life in Toronto that I didn’t have time to think about my future.

I don’t know what kind of activities I am going to do here, or if I will do them at all. … Even now, I still haven’t sort it out.

‘TITAN’ A SOURCE OF INSPIRATION

The manga “Attack on Titan” has reached its final episode.

I love this manga so much and feel strongly that I have found my own story in it.

What should I do to move toward freedom?

Choosing freedom also comes with risks. Still, do I want to follow the path toward freedom? And what exactly is the meaning of freedom?

The manga really made me think about a lot of things. Especially after arriving in Toronto, the manga has been on my mind whenever I weigh my options to go back to Hong Kong or disclose where I am staying now.

Q: You are a fan of Japanese culture and taught yourself Japanese. What is your message for Japanese now?

A: The past three years drove home how invaluable it is to be free from fear. What I am saying may sound far-fetched to Japanese. But that indicates how fortunate Japanese are. They do not need to worry about living in a place full of fear.

It is a blessing to be able to live a normal life, to be able to criticize the government in a normal way, to participate in demonstrations in a normal way, and to communicate on social media in a normal way. I would like Japanese to know that.

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Agnes Chow was born in Hong Kong in 1996. At 15, she joined a Hong Kong pro-democracy group, called the Scholarism, for junior and high school students. Chow was a key member of the 2014 Umbrella Movement protests.

She and other young activists together founded the Demosisto, a political group, in 2016.

When she joined large-scale rallies protesting revisions to extradition laws in 2019, she kept disseminating information in Japanese.

In August 2020, Chow was arrested on suspicion of violating the National Security Law, which went into force two months earlier. She was later released.

But in December 2020, she was found guilty of organizing a protest outside the Hong Kong police department without a permit in 2019. She served a sentence until June 2021.

Chow graduated from Hong Kong Baptist University in 2020 and began her master’s program at a university in Toronto in September.